A growing generational divide is playing out on TikTok, where the so-called “Gen Z stare” is fueling debate over manners and communication, particularly in customer-service settings.
The viral trend—typically described as an emotionless, blank gaze that Gen Z allegedly gives during everyday social interactions—has drawn both criticism and spirited defense. While some argue it is rude or disorienting, others say it reflects deeper shifts in how young people relate to the world around them.
But some Gen Zers say the whole thing is being misunderstood—or, worse, blown out of proportion.
‘I Walked Away So Confused’
Millennial TikTok user Riley Despot (@rileysomsendespot), 30, a small-business owner from Idaho, helped spark the recent discourse with a reenactment of an awkward encounter with her daughter’s Gen Z golf instructor, which garnered over 676,000 views on TikTok.
Despot said that, when she approached the coach to thank her, she was met with a completely blank, expressionless look. When she followed up to ask about payment, the young woman offered only a brief response—”Well, I don’t have my phone, so, I mean, I guess, like, you can just text me.”
The mom told Newsweek that you cannot generalize about an entire generation, but said she finds intergenerational differences interesting to observe, having studied psychology and sociology at college.
“Looking back on the actual situation I encountered, I don’t think the golf instructor had rude or malicious intentions. However, it came across that way. The conversation was just so awkward. I also walked away wondering if I had done something wrong,” Despot said.
Observations vs. Offense
TikTok creator Brenna Pérez (@perezbrenna), 34, who previously went viral for comparing generational humor, chimed in with her perspective as to why some Gen Zers are not taking the criticism well.
“There’s this expectation to not be acknowledged by anyone else in the world,” Pérez said, noting that even basic sociological observations now provoke hostility. “I think that feeds into both the Gen Z stare itself and the reaction to it just being acknowledged.”
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Pérez shared examples of TikTok comments from the great stare debate: “You mean the stare that shows we’re mad millennials and Gen X are the reason we have to work for the rest of our lives.”
Others dismissed the expectation of greetings entirely: “Good customer service is a privilege, not a right, but so is your job in customer service. As another person very astutely put it, you guys are making yourselves way more replaceable by AI.”
She argued that politeness is part of any public-facing job, and at least the self-checkout machine tells her to have a good day.
She also linked the blankness to Gen Z’s media habits. “They’re just mentally swiping past it in a sense,” she said. “Waiting for the next video to start playing, metaphorically.”
TikTok Weighs In
Other creators have tried to explain what the Gen Z stare actually is—and isn’t.
TikTok user Kenny Finegan (@kennytookrazy), 20, a computer engineering intern from New York, told Newsweek he believes millennials are right about the stare. He said it isn’t rudeness, but social anxiety: “It’s like a puppy that did something wrong.”
“Like all things that gain attention, I think it’s because the generations disagree on what it actually is. If you read the comments on my post, Gen Z seems to think it’s more of a judgment stare, while most other people agree it’s a result of social anxiety or just being awkward,” he said.
Milo (@empty_sweater) suggested that some members of Gen Z might be misrepresenting the stare as a defense mechanism.
“It’s the moment when someone says ‘Hi, how are you?’ and they just stare at you.”
They compared it to DARVO—deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender—as a way to avoid accountability, rather than having an open conversation about social interaction.
“It’s the same stare as a toddler who is afraid of strangers and waiting for their mom to talk for them,” said one commenter.
Others admitted to using the stare as a tool. “I only give the Gen Z stare to people who ask dumb questions,” one user wrote. Another commented: “We’ll say we want community, but then act like saying hello is emotional labor.”
Generational Context
Daren Banarsë, senior psychotherapist at IN Therapy, said the stare often signals overwhelm.
He told Newsweek: “I see the stare as a visible manifestation of internal overwhelm. Gen Z grew up with asynchronous digital communication where you have time to craft responses. Real-time face-to-face interaction can trigger a sort of cognitive traffic jam, where their brains need extra seconds to process unexpected social demands.”
Gen Z, shaped by pandemic isolation, may find real-time social interactions cognitively taxing.
Banarsë compared it to the “Millennial Pause,” a brief moment of silence before speaking in a video, adding that today’s social quirks go viral more quickly. Banarsë added that the stare is part of Gen Z’s move toward authenticity and boundary-setting—where emotional labor isn’t automatically performed to meet outdated norms.
Rather than judging the behavior, Banarsë said we should view it as part of an evolving communication landscape.
Behind the Stare
Gen Z self-help expert Tam Kaur told Newsweek that the stare is often rooted in self-consciousness and burnout.
“We’re the first generation to grow up with our faces constantly on display in selfies, stories, video calls, with everything being scrutinized online. That creates a heightened sense of self-consciousness and a fear of being judged, even in the smallest interactions,” Kaur said.
She added that Gen Z needs tools to build confidence and unlearn the belief that politeness always equals performance.
“What may appear as disengagement is often just anxiety,” Kaur added.
Digital parenting expert Yaron Litwin, CMO of the Canopy parental control app, told Newsweek that the stare may be a rejection of small talk rather than a sign of disrespect.
“It’s a move toward personal authenticity, even if it comes across as abrupt to others,” Litwin said.
He noted that previous generations had their own versions of emotional fatigue—such as the famously unbothered DMV clerks parodied in The Simpsons—and added that the Gen Z stare is just the latest example of cultural friction between age groups.
Newsweek reached out to all the TikTok users mentioned in the piece for comment via TikTok. We could not verify the details of the case.
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